40% to 50% off everything! Sale ends at midnight on Monday Dec. 2!
Step right up! Step right up! See the world's CrAzIeSt woman: Elizabeth from Pocket Vinyl! *points cane towards Elizabeth*
What makes her so CrAzY?! Well, sonny boy, I'm glad you asked! *winks* It goes a little something....like this:
*ba dum, ba dum bum BUM*
Elizabeth was a normal girl
Who made art all around the world
How good was her art, you say?
Why, better than anything you could make!
I kid! But honestly she was
The thing that made the town a-buzz!
Her paintings captured nature's eye
And even made the monarchs cry!
But one day while painting a bear
Some oil paint got in her hair
And then it dripped into her mouth
And oops! Looks like she's poisoned now!
The paint sure got into her brain
And frankly, made her go insane!
It took away her ability
For financial responsibility!
And now for one week every year
Her art prices are crystal clear
TOWNSPERSON: "40 to 50 percent off?!
There must be some mistake here?" *cough*
BACK TO ERIC:
There's no mistake, my coughing friend!
That's the right price, I'm quite certain
Marked down so low, you'll squeal with glee
That's CrAzY eLiZaBeTh'S guarantee!
*Song finishes, Eric is breathing hard, and the entire crowd, including you, rushes into Elizabeth's art store squealing with glee. Please follow this stage direction and go there now*