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Uncomfortably Unsure

 

The Perspective You Like

Is it right or just angled to the perspective you like?

Is it right or convenient that you're wasted in a fight?

Is it right, this frustration? My patience feels thin

If it right, this caressing of your hands on my skin?

 

Effigy (or, Building A Wall Of Beliefs So High That You Completely Forget What Is On The Other Side)

Always building an effigy, for something that will never breathe

But has a life beyond what you need, and what it exists for

Though I wish I had known you then, I'm pretty sure we wouldn't be friends

Because who you were and what I am, could not have worked the same

Now your eyes are so open wide, so much so that they've open mine

And what I see I don't really like, I'm glad I'm not alone

While we're eating this Popsicle, should I get all political?

Kind of want to but I don't know it all, that never stopped anyone before

 

I often look the other way, if it means less work for me

And the privilege I deny still gets used most of the time

I say I'm charming brave and wise, that's my excuse for why

 

I know the answers cause I'm a man and my skin is white

The specific questions don't really matter, I know I'm right

And your concrete goals, overwhelming polls, all the data on your side

Is just an opinion I can fight

 

I often look the other way, if it means less work for me

For me the money's always best, I'm not on the side that gets less

I get paid more cause of my sex, that's what I've come to expect

 

I often run the other way, cause it means less work for me

If I reflect on what I've seen, I escape to another screen

Cause the questions that come through are uncomfortable and true

Exposing the things I do as a distracting ruse

 

Trusting Someone Enough To Show Them

Need, I always feel the need, I always feel the need, to apologize for sex

It, Am I good at it? Am I good at it? I would like to be

 

Weird, both of us felt weird

Love, we are good at love

 

Stress, I'm shaking from stress, I'm shaking from stress, long before I start

Fail, I could truly fail, so profoundly fail, anytime I try

 

Shame, I still feel ashamed

But Love, we are good at love

 

Time, I trust my time, I trust my time with you

Time, I trust my time, I trust my time with you

Time, I trust my time, I trust my time with you

 

That Feeling In The Depths Of Your Soul When Dancing Nervously With Her For the First Time

(instrumental)

 

Pretending To Be Angry At The One You Love For Reasons You Can't Quite Discern

Are you sure it was this house? Everything looks destroyed inside

No, you're right, it was this house, a few things here I recognize

But it's all rearranged

 

Doing this is important, I don't feel we discuss it much

You make me feel important, since your skin is always so soft

Like it's always on cue

 

Feign....Rage....

 

Why'd you tell me that secret? I know the answer, it cracks my hull

I probably still have secrets, and you may never know them all

I've no keys to the cage

 

Feign......Rage......



Castle On A New Island

Touch so powerful, it would be unAmerican

Shaken off this rock, and cast into the sea

Forming a new island

Forming a new island

 

Making The Right Decision At A Crucial Moment When It Doesn't Positively Affect You In The Short Term

(instrumental)

 

It's A Great White Shark That Is Gnawing Through The Limbs Of My World

You've given in again, you have “a duty” you said

What is it like for you to feel pressured and used?

 

It's a great white shark and it's gnawing through the limbs of my world

It's a great white love and it hasn't begun to unfurl

It's a great white sex and it's hidden in the heart of a girl

It's a great white thought that is uncomfortably unsure

 

Following endlessly, into my inner ceremony

I don't feel like myself, but I'm sure I am no one else

 

It's a great white shark and it's gnawing through the limbs of my world

It's a great white love and it hasn't begun to unfurl

It's a great white sex and it's hidden in the heart of a girl

It's a great white thought that is uncomfortably unsure

 

Don't Believe Everything You Think

I encourage you to doubt the faith in your parents

I encourage you to doubt the thoughts in your head

I encourage you to doubt all that you've learned from your friends

I encourage you to doubt all I just said

 

Part Of Your Dreams

Part of your dreams, part of your dreams

Part of your dreams involves failing sometimes

Part of your dreams, part of your dreams

Part of your dreams involves failing sometimes

 

 

Nobody Talks About It And I Want To Talk About It

Just because nobody talks about it doesn't mean they don't deal with the exact same thing

Just because nobody talks about it doesn't mean they don't deal with the exact same thing sometimes

 

 

Sexuality And My Decisions Concerning Sexuality (Both Good And Bad)

I feel I am often imprisoned by my sexuality and it's decisions

Though temptation isn't a crime I wish it would ease up in the space in my mind

“Everything in moderation” including the last word of that quotation

If so then I'd like to try something I know that is over the line

 

I wish that there was a switch to turn off my body, to silence the itch

When I'm told men always act some way I hate recognizing that I am the same

(when I) Tell people that I don't chase it, I'm told that I'm sheltered that I should embrace it

But I'm not fond of that certain joy from viewing others as sexual toys

 

Oh girl well I'd like to kiss you without my baggage being an issue

Control is really what I want, the freedom to choose my direction of though

Without sex being a constant distraction like some civil war, some enemy faction

That, never gives up for that long, please understand me, please don't get me wrong

Cause I love feeling a sexual touch, but I wish that I didn't want it as much

 

 

Seeing Your Reflection In The Baptism Water

Avoiding privacy for countless centuries, becomes the goal that keeps me warm

The capabilities, of everything I see, was all recorded just for me

But it's a spectacle, one that can't be seen from a camera angle

Though it feels like dawn, I don't always enjoy being turned on

 

You faced it all in the water, the faint and blurry reflection

The more stones you throw in the more upset the image is

But the waves always end up calm

 

Young girls learn their clothes, make brothers stumble, that's it's their fault what the men do

Described as a bull, a mindless animal, who only focus on themselves

All the rules they heard, are ringing in the pews throughout the church

With a friendly nod, they say “This is part of the package of God.”

 

You faced it all in the water, the faint and blurry reflection

The more stones you throw in the more upset the image is

But the waves always end up calm

 

And you blame it all on the water spout

 

 

An Alternative To Forgiving Myself

(instrumental)

 

 

The Humility Dilemma

I want a miracle, something to prove it all

Some act so great and tall to tell me I'm not wrong

My heaven isn't true, it's only what I choose

My faith is nothing new, I acquired it used

 

I'm disappointed, I'm disappointed

I remain hopeful

 

Is there an us and them? Is there even a victim?
I wanna claim that spot, especially when I'm not

 

I'm disappointed, I'm disappointed

I remain hopeful

 

I want to be humble, but saying that will

Always tell me that I'm full, giving it no room to grow

From my moment of birth I try to prove my worth

To everyone that I am somebody they'll like

I was told it was fair, that I would get my share

“Just don't drink or smoke or swear, and ignore them over there.

And those sexual feelings, just shove them down and sing

You'll be confused when it occurs, and have issues when you're older

 

I'm disappointed, I'm disappointed

I remain hopeful

 

 

Nightmare(s)

Joy all the time, that's my nightmare

Eaten alive, that's my nightmare

Dissatisfied, that's my nightmare

Missing the ride, that's my nightmare

 

Saved yet denied, that's my nightmare

Pulsing with pride, that's my nightmare

Stopping to hide, that's my nightmare

God in the sky, that's my nightmare

 

Half, of my love

 

 

Waking Up To Find That You're Alright, He Is Still Beside You, And Everything Feels New

(instrumental)

 

 

Husband of Effigy

(instrumental)

 

 

Though Who Could Say, I'm Sure I'd Make A Good Mother

Lyrics on a page rarely read like poetry and quite frankly come off as cheesy

If you don't sing, perhaps you're more of a hummer

because things always sound dumber if you're not singing them

 

If we don't sing outside of our comfort zones, the only thing we'll hone is how not to grow

If you don't like the snow, perhaps you prefer summer

And things always sound dumber if you're not singing them

 

When I project to others about when we touch, I can't project that much since they're not us

If you want my sex stories, I'm sorry to be a bummer

But things always sound dumber when you're not singing them

 

My body structure and my gender role, I had no choice at all so why not now?

Though who could say, I'm sure I'd make a good mother

And things always sound dumber if you're not singing them

 

I was a virgin until twenty-five, it didn't feel like I missed out on life

I really trust you and I'm glad we have each other

Because things always sound dumber if you're not singing them

 

 

Taking A Moment To Forgive Those Who Taught Me Incorrectly About Sex As A Kid

(instrumental)

 

 

When You Sleep

When you sleep, your chest moves as you breathe, Rising and falling like the heat

When you sleep, there are kittens by your feet, between all the crests and peaks

There's a picture on a train when you were in Japan

You slept so poetically as noted by your friend

And I thought then, that you were handsome

 

When we sleep together in the car seats, I feel like we are one thing

When we sleep together before we dream, we're much closer than it seems

They said sleeping with a girl would send me straight to hell

A 20 minute ceremony and then it's all well

Because wedding bells, and marriage sells, the Lord can tell

 

On our wedding night we did little save watch cartoons

Spent our energy on family, friends, and neighbors too

Cause we had to prove, that we both knew, what we were doing

 

 

When We Sleep

(instrumental)

 

 

Insaner (Or, A Continuing Effort To Ask Some Kind Of Higher Power For Help To Just Get Through The Day And Do So In The Best Possible Way One Can)

Open my heart to the kindness of strangers

Open my arms to fight off what could pain her

Open my eyes to assess any danger

Open my mind so I don't go insaner

Open my ears to make all my songs greater

Open my mouth but not to be a hater

Open my hands to love enemy traitors

Open my life to a sudden game changer

 

Open my wound so I see I'm inferior

Open a hole, break through the exterior

Break me apart from the infinite mirror

Open my body to feel it much clearer